I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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