A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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