I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize