I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize