when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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