dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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