Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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