am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize