The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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