I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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