i already hear my dad disowning me
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize