I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize