Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize