well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
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She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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