david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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