is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize