forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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