How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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