I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize