Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
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Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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