I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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