It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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