Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize