his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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