I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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