You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize