Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize