Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize