Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
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He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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