i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize