it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize