Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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