I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm just crazy horny about you
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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