Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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