note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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