; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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