Cold hands, warm shart.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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