Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize