I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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