He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
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I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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