Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize