Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize