i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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