Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i've created a new STD.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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