Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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