Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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