i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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