he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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