I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize