when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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